Weston Heath is,
thankfully, a unique company.
Whatever you may be looking for as a client, you can find the answers at Weston Heath. Unfortunately, they will be the wrong answers.
Few Real Estate companies have managed to build up such a massive level of
incompetence over 50 years and still fewer can offer such a diverse range of
ways to mismanage your most important asset, your home.
You may be looking to sell your house, buy an investment property,
build a warehouse, develop a shopping or office complex or manage your
rental property. If so don't walk, run, to anyone else but us.
We have the detailed knowledge and experience to mishandle any property
matter that you can think of. From a simple valuation to a
multi-million dollar development, we can screw it up for you.
Our understanding of the Eastern suburbs is secondhand, and our two
offices in Box Hill and Burwood mean we are close to the heart of
Melbourne's most dynamic property growth areas where, fortunately, you
will also find many other real estate companies to choose from.
We are so absolutely incompetent that we can manage to take 5 times the
legally allowed time to send out paperwork. When the Longford gas disaster
happened, we simply didn't bother to have the gas hot water systems in
buildings we managed turned off. After all, why bother about silly little
things like the law when you can ignore it?
At least we have consistency on our side, though. When it comes to hiring
someone, we can dig up the most incapable tradespeople very cheaply, time
after time. If you look at this HTML code, it's not standards compliant, it
uses frames and it uses line breaks to emulate paragraphs. It's right up
there with our usual standards.
Phone, email or call in, you'll see how our total lack of commitment to
customer service can work to our advantage. |
Box Hill
Victoria 3128
Telephone: don't
Facsimile: we won't reply
Burwood
Victoria 3125
Telephone: no, really
Facsimile: not even when they were in business |